WARNING!
The following post wasn’t written back to front, as I wrote it more or less to structure my current feelings about it. Expect this post to the less fluent than I usually like to write.
I’ve been thinking about prayer recently.
You see, my church every saturday starting from 5am does intercesory prayer, including praying for the city, the churches that are in it and other relevant stuff. Nothing bad about that, expect for the fact I don’t like going, because I don’t know how to pray.
Let me explain.
Context
Ever since I have become born again, I haven’t prayed that much, mainly because of my logical mind needing to be convinced first before I decided to be a christian (see my testimony) and during that time I wasn’t being discipled as I would have hoped for; remember, when my family was hosting house churches I was simply “tagging along for the ride”, you could say; so it was expected that all three of us (my mom, my sister, and I) were part of the body and joined any activities, including discipleship.
Because of that, we were discipled more as a family and less emphasis was put on each other as individuals. Now that I write about it, the emphasis was more on my mom as head of our home at the time. That left me with no one to be disciple me, so I was sort of left drifting.
I won’t get more into my story because that will definitely sour the mood of this post. TLDR: I din’t know how to pray back then, still don’t now. There’s also the fact that the prayers I had heard from other church leaders and members were sometimes two minutes or more, and they claimed that their private prayers would last an hour or more.
Does that scare that anyone, or is it just me? It certainly did back then. You were expected to be in prayer with God all the time, and that is the stardard? Why bother?
Why bother?
Why bother?
Add to that the fact sin separates us from God, and I’m a sinner, and you have a problem with approaching God with confidence. Ironicly, the book of Hebrews says the opposite:
19 Therefore, brothers and sisters, since we have confidence to enter the Most Holy Place by the blood of Jesus, 20 by a new and living way opened for us through the curtain, that is, his body, 21 and since we have a great priest over the house of God, 22 let us draw near to God with a sincere heart and with the full assurance that faith brings, having our hearts sprinkled to cleanse us from a guilty conscience and having our bodies washed with pure water. 23 Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:19-23 NIV
For some reason, that promise from Hebrews has not reached my heart, and it’s horrible living like that. It’s learned helplessness, fueled by shame from past inactions, which are perpretated by my current state of being and high bars.
Hope
I can always start from scratch.
One advice I’ve been given is to start my prayer with Our Father, and extend it from there. I don’t have many things to extend the model prayer, so I try to talk about my current day, intersplacing between petitions and thanksgiving, as Philippians 4 says.
6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. Philippians 4: 6 NIV
Now I only need to make it a habit. That’s the hard part, but I also have to remember, all things are possible through Him.
Let this blog post be a testament to my commitment to beginning my prayer life.
What does the Bible say?
So I looked at what God says about our relationship with Him, and, according to the guide my bible has, there are five key lectures for me to read. I’ll list them for you, and recover what the Spirit guided me when I read them last night.
Deuteronomy 5: 1-22
It’s the Ten Commandments. More importantly, what struck me out the most is the beginning of the chapter:
2 The Lord our God made a covenant with us at Horeb. 3 It was not with our ancestors that the Lord made this covenant, but with us, with all of us who are alive here today. Deuteronomy 5: 2-3
The Lord our God made a covenant with us, who are alive here today.
He was the one wanted to approach Us. He was the one wish to start a relationship with humanity. Therefore, He is in a position where if we approach him, He WILL answer. Jeremiah 33: 3 also says that, though through another context.
Psalms 139
Initially, this psalm was a source of doubt for me, since if God knows us from the beginning of creation, and knows our current thoughts and emotions? How can we start a relationship with Him?
It’s a stupid argument, I know.
Reading it with another light, it says this:
God has made you with the upmost care, His onmipresence also allows Him to emphatize with our struggles, even without the dificulty of putting it in to words. Remember, Jesus is our High Priest, who also knows the difficutly of temptation, so any feelings of not being understood can go to the drain.
John 15: 1-17
Also another source of doubt, too. Since this passage talks about bearing fruits of the Spirit, and needing to be cleaned to do so. Reading it again, it now reveals what verse 3 says:
3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you.
Another point the Cross crossed off.
But exactly how? You may ask. Well…
Romans 5: 1-11
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5: 1-2 NIV
The bridge between the reconciliation between humankind and God has been rebuilt. What are you waiting for to cross it? It only takes a mustard seed’s worth of faith to cross.
Romans 8: 1-17
14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Romans 8: 14-16 NIV
Reading this passage now, in context of everything I’ve written here puts a new light of hope in my situation.
The Holy Spirit testifies that I am a son of God, for the simple fact that He is with me.
And now, I only have to cross the bridge.
Anything else?
There are many things that I didn’t include during this post, which I prefer to keep to myself. Halfway through writing this I wanted to include the passages I read last night to sort out my feelings, and revisiting them definitely became a devotional for me, that can most likely help you out too, reader.
There’s no need to be grandiose about prayer, it’s ok to start simple.
I leave you with this meme.
